The Midpoint

Tomorrow will be one week since Tim's first chemo treatment and one week until he has to check himself in for round two. Not a whole lot has gone on since I last wrote in. I am sure, by now, Tim is really sick of me asking, "How are you feeling?" Bottom line is, he doesn't look sick or act sick so I really can't tell unless I ask.

His stomach is still bothering him. I think he is kind of disappointed that the aching hasn't started to improve. He is coming to terms with the fact that he might just feel that way for six months straight. Last night was the first good night's sleep he has had in while. That is, in large part, due to the big bottle of Tylenol PM I talked him into buying. I had to wake up twice last night to let the dog out to pee and to check on Leyton. Both times I had to check and make sure Tim was still breathing. He did not move once! I am sure I looked like an idiot being real quiet, getting close enough to hear him take a breath, and making sure I didn't wake him up! Such is life, I guess.

So far, our nights have mainly consisted of eating dinner, bathing Leyton, and playing Tetris on the Wii -- The Battle Royale. During our games after Leyton goes to bed, we sometimes have some interesting conversations about this crazy thing we now call our life. I told Tim this cancer crap has brought about some sort of insecurity that has been burried within me. I told him that I worried, at first, that this might be some sort of a wake up call for him -- that he might realize he "settled" and want something more out of life. He was quick to tell me that maybe it was just the opposite and that this was just a reminder of how much he loved me. Stupid, I know, but if there is one thing I have learned from going through this, it is you really can't help all the assinigned thoughts that flood your mind. Although, Tim was quick to let me know that cheating on a cancer patient guarantees you a first class ticket straight to hell! Thanks babe, but my name isn't John Edwards!!!

Seriously, Tim and I have one of the best marriages anyone could ever hope for. I can truely say that we have always been a TEAM in everything we do. Whether it is going to the grocery store, cleaning house, parenting, or going for a walk, we do it together. In that regard, life couldn't get any better. It is those moments that I charish now more than ever. Cancer can't take that away from us -- it has only made us stronger.

Much Love,

Annie